(yesterday November 16, 2009 @ 10.17 PM – When Shreya calls me ~ I got a thought to write an Article ~ based on our Conversation)
Accept it. Once you get into relationship of Marriage it’s obvious that you get Change and it is also observed that friendships will change. You cannot be the same person who can attend calls at any hour of the day or slip out for a sip of coffee when your friend is down and out.
All because marriage is definitely a lifestyle change. And it is not only married couples who try to adjust to the new environment, but even friends find it difficult to adjust to the new Change.
Me & My Friend Shreya, we are pals right from our School years. But when Shreya got married, I thought our days of friendship will now lose its charm, I felt insecure, I started to distance myself from her because she was busy with her new life and I started missing our good old constant talk. Now we meet once a month. It doesn’t matter to me much now.” When she got married, I initially found it difficult because I was pretty much dependent on her for everything and then I saw her going out with her husband, new family and social outings. We never got “our time”. But I later realized that it happens and didn’t let these new changes affect our friendship, this credit goes to the Shreya & her Idealist Attitude towards our relationship and just because of her today I am good friend with Prashil (her Husband). We three are company today. She was dealing not only with a different social status, but also a plethora of other issues that a newly wed couple faces. Since I was closest to her I shared everything with her without realizing that she was facing her own difficulties in accepting the new world. But I didn’t let her go. We still talk.
After when we fininh our conversation I remember few lines of My Friend Sameer Parikh, Psychologist who explains once that, “People need company and when they see their company drifting apart, it is obvious that a feeling of rejection sets in. This is especially difficult for single friends who do not have a huge friends circle or seek a lot of comfort in you and this is not the case only with the same gender friends but it gets even trickier with friends of the opposite gender.
Before Shreya’s Marriage I always had an impression that friendships change after one get married and have kids? It’s true, and it’s the result of a combination of factors that include a decrease in free time and a shift in priorities. Many a times I faced with tension when it comes to friendships outside my other relationship.
Shreya always stand to me a Person whom I Admire a lottt everytime in every Aspects, Yesterday also she answer the thing may be knowingly or unknowingly which was contineously hamering me from last couple of weeks. Again yesterday the same thing happen when we were talking, she asked “People generally get change after Marriage” it was somehow not accepted to me as Shreya & Prashil Marriage had taught me that understanding and accepting each other’s differences is the key to nurturing the friendship within your own relationship and developing friendships with others. Friendships provide support, keep us from feeling lonely, and make us well-rounded people.
For Shreya & Me ~ ofcourse maintaining a good friendships takes time and effort. As our life progresses, we have divided our precious time among an ever-growing circle of people, which leaves less time for both of us. For Shreya Priorities always changes rather shifts. She had always set boundary of Commitment towards a relationship whether it is a close friend or a family member. She has always valued our friendship even though we can’t be able to hang out as often.
The most beautiful Discovery we both have make is that we grow seperately without growing apart because of our Difference of Opinion.
This whole Article talks about Changes in Friendship after Marriage, ofcourse changes do come and I think changes should come with a level of Maturity & Responsibility but very few can able to Maintain the Relationship of Friendship till soo long. If the level of Maturity and Understanding of Relationship also moves with the passage of time it is very easy to maintain a relationship but if suppose a person resist to Change then it will be difficult to sustain a relationship for a prolonged period of time.
This article is dedicated to Shreya & Prashil who includes friends like us as a company in their Journey of Life.